Thursday, 29 March 2012

Battle to the Death

So I have been to Rome before and thought I would relive my previous life as a Gladiator! Never in my wildest dreams did I think it would come true. Iam so blessed to have this happen. There I was all kitted up.......I was running like crazy, my heart beat elevated, I was in a slight panic but I was not afraid - Iam from Athlone - I was ready to take this on. The Collosseum was big but i was running through it trying to catch this guy. He was not going to escape me I was gonna take him down. He held the key to my escape from this place and he was trying to elude me. But through the maze of pathways and up & down levels I got disoriented, I felt a bit claustrophobic as every where I turned it lead me to the same brick wall. I could feel the sweat on my forehead and my body overheating as the stress and panic set it. As I was battling through this concrete prison the punishing frustration became too much for even me. I finally fell to my knees and gave up.


It was time I said to myself. George you have lost the tour guide. You fokked up the meeting location and now you're lost in this dungeon. I went to the enterance after 30 minutes and found another guide from the same company to call the head office. They found my guide at the Forum ruins a kilometer away and alas I ran to meet him there............Finish and klaar.......

Tuesday, 27 March 2012

Driving me crazy....

So walking down my street going home at 1am. Yes....I prefer to leave my car at home to take a bus at midnight because its so safe!!! (good luck swallowing that one!) And I notice that all my neighbours houses - which have no walls or fences - have their curtains completely open and a small light is left on in every lounge. You can therefore see everything in the lounge including all the large flat screen TVs,furniture, ornaments etc..... They basically have their entire house open for viewing like M-net Open Time. This frustrates me so much that i annoy myself with this conflict in my mind all the way home.

I believe my neighbours know Iam from South Africa and do this to piss me off. Are you Jus to leave all your shit on display like this. Here I got my house boobytrapped like Fort Knox while everyone else is having an 'Athlone Garage Sale'

During the evening you are able to see everyone eating dinner, sitting watching TV.........this is all too much for me to comprehend. Have these people no sense of privacy? Why leave the light on? So people can have a better view? In most cases you see all the way to the kitchen. Even if you live in a awesome safe neighbourhood why take the chance? These people are just taking the piss and irritating me.

Moral of the story is that my neighbours who are living in Nirvana will do so without me. Iam locking up my shit and closing my curtains. You not converting me. I am now an old Torpie with old ideas. Finish and klaar......

Saturday, 24 March 2012

Are you Jus?

Only in Canada can I order something costing $500 and the delivery person leaves it on my stoep (outside my door).......what you must be crazy. I almost flipped my fokken lid. Are you jus? This is all too much pressure for a South African!!

Bursting your bubble

On my first trip to Canada it was winter and we stayed in a hotel after landing. Our hotel room had a door opening up onto the parking and main road. In the morning we got ready and Marie starts up their fancy SUV, she immediately closes the door and takes a shower. Now what I could not understand is how can you leave the keys in the car near the open roadway. I had to stand at the window and watch the car. My in laws were telling me to relax and no one will take the car but I could not get myself to move from the window. Like when you dream you running but cant seem to move. That was me.

I had an obligation as a good South African to ensure security and that all items are secured!! How can any self respecting Saffa allow such negligence. It was just not possible. Well............ all that these Canadians could do was laugh at me, but my conscience is clear and we still have the car. Finish and klaar.....

Welcome to Canada

If you have ever seen Cuba Gooding Jr in Snow Dogs you'll know exactly what Iam going through. Iam merely here to exacerbate the ridicules journey I go through as I plant my feet deep into Canadian culture.