Friday, 9 September 2016

No future for our kids!!!

You know its happening. In 20 years time climate change is getting worse. Its snowing in South Africa, more crazy floods all over the world, sea levels rising.............its not gonna stop.

It seems crazy that we can have a positive impact on this but don't sell yourself short. If you can convince one other unstable friend to be green we might just be able to save a flower or two. I researched some easy practical ideas which I can implement. That's right I am taking off the blinkers and buying some karma with my blacklisted nature card. We all probably have so much carbon footprint that nature thinks we are all ISIS terrorizing the world. If you don't give a fuck then consider that at least you saving some money to pay for that porn site you regularly visit.

 1. Run your washing machine in cold water. In fact, almost 90% of the energy consumed by a washing machine goes to heating the water. Newer detergents, plus the washing machine’s agitating action, are enough to remove stains sans heat.

2.  Install a programmable thermostat. You can create various cycles for when you at work or sleeping to mitigate unnecessary usage.

3. Install ceiling fans. They use only 10% of aircon energy when you bypass the AC for some natural cooling.

4. Water plants in morning or evening. The heat during the day evaporates the water too much. Making your efforts futile and wasteful.

5. Don't use microwave popcorn. Microwave popcorn bags are lined with perfluorooctanoic acid (PFOA)—bad for the air and bad for you (it may contribute to cancer and infertility, studies show). Instead, pop the old-fashioned way in a pan on the stove with a thin layer of canola oil.

6. Make your own Green Cleaners.  Scrub the majority of your home with a water and white vinegar solution (it only costs about 20 cents!) 9 Parts of water to 1 part of vinegar. Forget the harmful chemical toxins in store bought cleaners.

7. Buy Coconut Oil. Trim your drugstore bill and beauty product waste by investing in a $10 bottle of coconut oil. It’s naturally antibacterial and antifungal, an excellent moisturizer, and penetrates hair better than other oils. Use it to soothe dry hands, moisturize your body, shave your legs, deep-condition your hair, and control flyaways

8. Use reusable bags.  Do not take plastic bags from the store!

9. Do not buy water bottles. Buy the huge reusable water bottles for a fountain machine. All the small plastic bottles you buy on a daily basis is a main source of pollution and waste.

10. Do not litter in the Ocean. The easiest way to get fired onboard is to throw anything overboard. They ocean is already being destroyed. 

If you any of you have some good ideas I can implement let me know. If you don't care maybe you should rethink that! I did purchase the below green equipment for my house instead of the petrol options as they use electricity. (I have to admit I took back the snow blower as it broke within a week and bought a petrol snow blower. In Canada I could be snowed in for weeks so just shut up okay)

Friday, 5 August 2016

My Bra Worsie!

Gone way too soon................

I was inspired to remember those we lost along the way. Two of my best friends Elton and Worsie who both died 12 years ago left an unimaginable void for us to struggle with and move forward. I am sourcing pictures of Elton and once I get them I will do a seperate blog for him.                                                                                                                                                                               
 Worsie meet world, world meet Worise. He was my best friend through high school and we lived together for about 10 years. I have too many stories of our skurrelbaans together but most of them I cannot print for legal and moral reasons.             

I will say that you could not get a guy more generous with this time and money than him. He would help anyone in need and gave everything he had even clothes off his back without hesitation. The rest of us could not do this. He also partied himself bankrupt with no  for his money - I would try to take most of his pay check and hide it away so that everything is not spent on Friday night. Seriously we needed taxi money to get home from where ever we woke up. Sometimes we took long walks home. It was not funny after a while.
How we funded our Adventures: We both got paid well and we would party our salary into the ground. Our next source of money was our numerous bar and restaurant tabs at a few clubs & bars in the area. As soon as his was maxed out we would max out mine. Then we would hit Cash Loans. I would spend my R5500 (lots of money 20 years ago) and leave my debit card with them and they gave me another R1000. Once all these are tapped out we would walk to the bar with zero in pocket and rely on our good looks and reputation for everyone else to buy us drinks. In a blink of an eye we would have 10 -15 drinks in front of us especially at happy hour. We could party the entire weekend with no money to our name. We were Winners cause we just could not loose!!!! 

The picture above is where we landed up at Ratanga Junction and had a mad time. We drank through all our money and at the end of the day all the staff knew us by name and wanted to serve us. We were on our way to buy a TV and decided to blow all the TV money on shit as well including this fokken expensive picture with a eagle or something. Shit faced and on our last drink we realized we were penniless and had no way to go home. So once again our good looks and luck shone down on us and we ran into my cousin Elana who was having a day at the park. She happily drove us home.

The picture above I have no feedback on other to say we were not athletically inclined except if to run from the police or my mother. To his defence he is surrounded by beer cans and sitting down so don't be fooled. I am sure the soccer ball is just a prop.   

One of my favourite pics is this one above. Taken at Club Royale back in the day. Royale became our base from which we would plan our missions. We would all meet up and let the night take us from there. No matter what time we walked into the Club it was always a place where everyone knows your name. Still is.

Worsie has joined "Club 27" with the other royalty like Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Amy Winehouse etc...... We know he is in good company and ripping the place apart where ever he is. Love you much brother. You are missed more and more.

If you have a story you about the Wors Man please add into the comments below. Thanks so much.

Tuesday, 2 August 2016

Technology Sucks

VHS Master

My father once told me something so simple yet I live its reality everyday. He said: "Son, do you know what technology stands for?" I said no. He replied with: "It stands for speed"
Technology is constantly evolving to make our daily lives easier and our tasks faster and we see that with everything we do. He told me his company is working on a scanner which can add up your grocery bill by passing the entire cart full of groceries through it. This would be very much welcomed but I suppose if never got off the ground. He was a smart guy with tons of ideas and I regret never investing in any of it even though he gave brilliant sales pitches. I guess I just did not trust him enough. My bad!

Our kids will miss so many experiences we held deeply and that's the way it goes. I could mention a ton of stuff into my old age at which time my kids would stop listening. Its good to mention all of this but also more important to change with the times. Here is a simple example of an experience now extinct. With Netflix at your finger tips there is no need to get off you seat to rent that movie. You have thousands of titles to choose from and play them instantly. Now where is the fun in that? 
I could not find any pics of the actual store unfortunately.
 Its a pity that my kids will never know the true appreciation of movies. I am talking about mom promising to rent us movies for the weekend. This alone caused hysterical activity as we would be kickboxing and acting like ninjas in anticipation of the movies we favored. Mom then drove us to the video store preparing for a 2 hour practice in patience on her part and adventure on ours.Our usual spot was Dalvies Video in Athlone.

 The joy of running through the thousands of videos on the wall mixed with the devastation when after you found the one and then realize it was already taken out.....@#$%. Another hour to find another film. We grab three videos and hire an entire VHS machine for the night as ours chew up tapes like the Cookie Monster.Our we go with this massive machine is its huge protective cover and 3 VHS videos.

Yoor it was the best feeling ever coming home to set up all the wiring and spending an hour trying to get the video channel by twisting the knobs until your fingers bled. Its all worth it as tomorrow you gotta take all this back before they charge you a late fee!! Voetsak we paid big bucks for this so we wake up early the next morning to watch it again before we take it away. Gotta get your moneys worth.

 You could not lie and say the video store was closed because there was always a slot to return the movies through when they were closed. Oh the days back then. Golden!!

Monday, 16 May 2016

Let the Terrorist Through!!

Let the Terrorist Through

So received a letter saying to meet for the citizenship exam in the next week. Once successful I will get a date to swear an Oath to the Canadian Flag. Yes its better than getting a Green Card to the US its a dream for most people.

I guess I should be more happy especially since I got 100% for the exam but I cant betray my feelings. Lets get the obvious out of the way. A Canadian passport is like kryptonite to me, its like Van Der Merwe in a whore house with a credit card, its just doesn't get any better than that. For a guy from Athlone who has been traveling the world and knows what it means to use a Third World passport to get around, I should feel completely elated. Imagine you needed a passport with a current visa every time you entered Shoprite, this is what's its like. Having security personnel organize themselves every time you present your South African passport - in less than subtle ways I might add. Having my bags constantly ruffled through for bombs, guns, biltong and animal skins - which is understandable.
I look back to one specific incident when boarding a plane in Canada. It was the smallest airport I have ever been in. There was probably only 5 people in the entire airport including my wife and I. As I gently walked up to the security point I very slowly removed my passport from my shirt pocket. As I pulled it out ever so carefully as to not frighten the heavily armed security it was about half way out when they started to whistle and motion each other to surround me. The security in front of me started to give me her smart ass "I am just doing my job and you better listen or I send you to Guantanamo" speech. Ordered me to remove everything including my prosthetic leg and toupee.  I get taken one side and done over thoroughly. The Ghamajtie in me just snapped but in a well controlled way that my wife would just about approve.

I raised my voice and calmly spoke to the security and asked why on earth did she call a death com five on me when I did not even show her my passport. I told her how frustrating this all is. She understood my pain and nicely told me on my air ticket there is an allocation of SSS which mean triple security threat. Possibly because I paid cash or there is no return ticket. As my wife was stabbing me in my heart with her eyes for causing a scene in dear Canada I digressed and moved on.

Violated or Justified

I will get tons of slack for suggesting that their profiling is justified. For years working on ships we travelled in and out of the US and were always "randomly chosen" to sit in a bullet proof glass room with homeland security offices for anywhere between 3-8 hours. Looking around at all the brown people in the room you immediately see each others pain and solidarity with every eye contact and roll of the eyes. We are in the lions den and we have no choice. So shut up, comply, act subservient to the Homeland security Gods and beg like a leper for them to let you in. Ordinarily us guys would be bold and brave by saying you do not take discrimination, you will not be spoken down to, you will not be interrogated because you are in charge of your being and freedom. But in this case you are so desperate to get through that exit doors and to the promised land you would forgo your usual bravado and ego. Yes I said it. You would lick the doughnut crumbs off his face to let your through those golden gates.

Here's the despicable part: I do not blame them for profiling. If some crazy jihadist was trying to bring an explosive on the plane that I am on I would tell them to triple check all the brown people first!!

Wednesday, 19 August 2015

The Cape Town Gatsby

Here are some simple rules to follow to enjoy one of my favourite foods that I grea up with in Cape Town. This is usually consumed on the bonnet of your car at 4:00am. I copied the below etiquette as it summed it up perfectly. They all have the standard long roll with fries then you add your toppings which is usually polony slices, steak, calamari, Vienna or anything else you can imagine.

The traditional Gatsby for me is fries, fried polony slices, peri-peri chilli spice, hot mango atchar with tomato sauce. I believe back in the day it cost $US 0.60c. Perfect for after the night club or lunch on a sunny Saturday afternoon in Athlone where the best Gatsby's are made.

The Great Gatsby Etiquette
1. Keep the time between purchase and consumption of the Gatsby as short as possible. Cold chips are no one's friend.
2. Cut the Gatsby into a maximum of four pieces. Anything smaller is a gross injustice to the Gatsby because there's no way you'll be filled by a fifth or less.
3. Any chip falling from any given piece of the Gatsby is considered fair game. The ruling on this is final.
4. When separating the Gatsby, note the point of division: practice absolute precision here to avoid taking the bottom roll of the next person's piece. Ask for assistance if necessary.

5. You must finish your share. Besides it being a terrible waste, you'll be scorned by the Gatsby Fraternity for all time for being vesin (silly)
6. Grip is critical. Cup your piece in your hand so that loose bits have nowhere to fall except back into your hands. Avoid the scenario described in Point 3.
7. Never, ever leave the Gatsby unattended. It will "walk away"
8. It's best to accompany the Gatsby with a beverage, ie Jive, Frulati or Cabana. Hearty burping guarantees relief.

9. Observe relative silence when consuming the Gatsby. No one likes to talk and eat at the same time. See Point 1 regarding cold chips.
10. Always wash hands with soap and water at the conclusion to avoid getting a spicy finger in the eye, a condition commonly known as "Gatsby Eye". The only cure is self-induced crying. No one wants to see that, so just make the trip and wash your damn hands.
11. The bra that contributes the least towards the gatsby gets the smallest piece...
12. The Gatsby is not supposed to be eaten out of a plate, so make sure you ask the BB.Sc (Bra Behind Shop Counter) to double wrap the Gatsby to ensure enough paper for everyone.
13. Avoid eye contact with anyone not eating the Gatsby for fear of them asking for a stukkie (piece) or shouting "kap 'n baat".Alternatively turn the music volume up in your car.

14. When sipping on the Frulati (fruity juice), make sure you only have 2 sips then pass... anyone attempting more than 2 sips forfeit the next round.NO BACKWASH!!!
15. Nothing on the Gatsby is to be wasted (refer point 5), that includes any salads or sauces still remaining in the paper...


Sunday, 9 August 2015

Psycho Sales Techniques

Driving on a beautiful summers day enjoying the view of the river and BAMM straight into a truck! That's how it all started. Against my will I am now forced to purchase a new car and pay for the next few years. Alfie our Corolla was 11 years old and more dependable than most of you no gooders!!

Part 1
I get into this brand new Hyndai Santa Fe SUV. Mr Sales guy is a cool 21 years of age with mother from Guyana, that was my first clue that things are gonna get interesting (because of my love of Guyanese people) He drives off the lot & finds a gravel road along the highway. At the end of the road is a river with a right turn going under the bridge which crosses the river. So Mr Sales guy says Mr Engel let me show you stability and electronic balancing. He takes off like a bat with his foot flat on the pedal. I am holding onto to dear life and can see myself in the police station being questioned why we were floating in the river.

Flying down the road towards the bloody river he takes his hands off the wheels and holds them in the air like I am holding his ass up. Iam like "shit these cops wont believe this story" He then slams his foot on the breaks and the SUV sails over the gravel spraying stones all over the place. Amazingly we come to a stop still on the gravel road and he tells me "look we slid down the road in a straight line, that is stability Mr Engel"

Before I can say "are you Jus in your head" He pulls away with his foot flat down telling me not to worry as he will take a sharp right before going into the river and slide around the corner under the bridge with perfection. I see only a small gap between the river and the bridge and all I am thinking of is these people just made me a citizen and giving me a passport and I am going die in this car with a psycho salesman that missed a few hugs as a child.

Speeding straight for the river I feel myself pressing invisible breaks, with 5 meters to go he serves right without slowing down and the SUV takes the corner like a champ. Its electronic sensors are preventing the car from sliding off into the river and maintain and flat out speed along the turn. At least this is what Mr Daredevil is trying to explain to me.

What on earth is going on here!! He is trying to get me deported cause I just signed my life away just to take the car for a spin and Mighty Mouse over here is hogging the thrill factor. This is too much pressure for the African. I thought the customer is suppose to drive like a maniac while Mr Sales guy tells them to slow down. No ways not at this place. Shit I landed up in the wrong car at the wrong time. The fact that we made that corner has nothing to do with it at all. This oke has some issues he needs to deal with but not with me in the car. My liability extends as far as I can throw him and that's not far.

Part 2

I am not a negotiator & never was. If I don't like you I just walk away instead of playing the cat and mouse sales bit cause I know you got more angles that I just don't care for. So we see this shiny SUV that is just what we want with all the trimmings. I ask what the price and he wants to take us for a test drive. I told him I just survived my last test but he can take me wife. So goes for a drive and she loves the car, so we sit down. I tell him to give me the price and make it snappy as we have other dealerships to go to. He starts looking up the cars at the dealerships I mention and talking shit about them. I tell him to focus on his car and if he makes the sale good for him.

He gives me a promissory note to sign saying if he gives me a deal I will buy the car. I said he thinks I must be stupid to sign a promissory note when he has not even given me the price yet. He says they want it signed as they don't want to do all this work and then I buy somewhere else. Well if you didn't want to work today you should of stayed at home watching CNN!...... WTF are you on man? That's your job to work out numbers and sell shit. You know what you can do with your paper. I go for a walk and want to pack the baby in the car because Psycho salesman here needs motivation to sell me something. Marie tells him I wont sign Jack. Then he goes and comes back with another form to sign? This form says he is explaining all the features of the SUV and needs my signature because below it acknowledges our conversation and I promise to buy the vehicle from him.

Okay that's enough!! He hasn't even given me the price and comes up with this Mickey Mouse sales bullshit. And off to the car I go with the baby! That's what happens when you don't listen to people. You piss them off and you lose a sale. Thank God my wife is the smart one who has time and patience and she elegantly got introduced to the manager who was a superb salesman and closed the deal. I had enough I was hungry lets go eat. Exhausting!!

Saturday, 30 May 2015

Sorry Mandela I am more selfish than you!

So on Tuesday I was invited to take the Canadian Oath and become a Canadian citizen. Everyone around me and those at the ceremony were really ecstatic on their achievement. I received praised from many with even a celebration and decorations at work.

I know I should be more excited and proud but I just don't feel that way. Listening to the presiding Officer it is clear that my fellow immigrants taking the oath swam rivers, climbed mountains and dodged bullets just to get here. They have earned a new lease on life and a guaranteed future for their family. I am not saying I didn't struggle but my path was not that desperate. The faces around me showed appreciation that was sincere and grateful. Why was I not?

I love South Africa and have always been its staunched defender. Now I was to recite allegiance to a queen and her family successors. I was to bow down to a monarchy and lay my life down for this woman that lives in another country. As I am writing this it sounds even more absurd. This proclamation is so vital that the official at the ceremony gives you a light Canadian warning that if the officials do not see the oath coming out of your mouth they will not confirm your citizenship so keep your mouth moving or better luck next year. I struggle with this and continue to do so. The only way I stayed on course was my wife's voice in my head saying "don't do anything stupid today just think about the passport" I will redeem myself by saying that if they asked me to go down on my knees I would of told everyone to fuck off! I already declined to put my hand on the bible.

If any of you have read the long walk to Freedom you will know that when the comrades were banned, exiled and harassed some made the decision to leave SA and live in supporting countries while studying and supporting the movement from abroad. Madiba stayed behind and was known as the Phantom as the security police were desperate to catch him while he travelled at night visiting towns and villages. He did not want to leave but instead fight along side the people. For his bravery he spent 27 years behind bars with many others who did the same. So for me to admit that I abandoned my country is harder than you can believe but also not entirely true.

On my life's journey I have found myself leaving the most beautiful city in the world because I was in a dark soul destroying hole that I dug for myself. How I went from death to travelling the world is something only the Lord that I don't believe in knows. Circumstance and lots of luck got me travelling the world for the last 10 years. I can only say that good thinks happen to nice people who have no sense to look after themselves. So travelling led to love and then to a promised land that was beyond understanding. At least I came here on a
cruise ship and not a slave ship.

Its my fourth year in this foreign land and the world makes sense. Money is abundant, Futures are guaranteed and safety is not a concern. As much as I love Capetonians who are the only people in the world that understand me I falter in my resolve. Even though my jokes are not appreciated or sarcastic tone always taken out of context, even though I my words and sayings are misinterpreted and my disdain for following rules is frowned upon I do not want to give up this normalcy I found myself in. The most heartbreaking dilemma is that my family and friends are in a place called home and now I am the guy who visits every 3 years.

I am proud that I could set my family up in one of the best countries in the world. That is all that matters.

Monday, 22 December 2014

Sitting in Shit

I have two words for you. Sump Pump!! I know I should end the story here as we have dignity and ego at stake but then again that's for people who give a shit about what others think. I lack this so here it is.

I set the scene: Its -25 out. My wife is in her Pj's trying to break ice outside in the elements, I am in the basement in my underpants sitting on the floor trying to hold two pieces of pipe together and I am covered in shit. I am shouting to her to break the ice, she is shouting back that she's numb, I start screaming that dirty washing machine water is spraying all over me and I cant take it no more, my grip is slipping and when it does it will flood our new house and all our goods we still have not unpacked. Sewage water is gushing while I hold these pvc pipes together but I am loosing grip and bursts of water is coming out every time I slip or my arm gives in. How can this damn pump be this strong. How can this exit pipe freeze up. This is all bullshit I say.

"Call the fucking plumber immediately! I don't care its Sunday evening or how much they charge. This is a life and death situation" As I am getting more pissed off screaming to my wife to get on the phone already. I turn around and find her standing behind me with her glasses all frozen up laughing her ass off at me. I counted till ten then stared to relax and laugh with while soaked in sewage water and counting my blessings that I live in a First world country. After that no amount of bleach and aloe could wash my soul clean.

Go ahead and laugh cause I am done with this story and already moved on...........

Saturday, 20 December 2014

CMHR, #CanadianMuseumofHumanRights

Visited the Canadian Museum of Human Rights as part of an anniversary date with my lovely wife. It was chosen as a venue as I wanted something new and different we could experience together. This would of included a learning opportunity as well in the hope we came away more passionate or motivated from the experience.

Walking up to the building I cant helping thinking that the strange appearance is all part of what makes museums interesting and attractive. Most of the famous museums around the world are designed by mad men that wanted to shock and awe the public with their outrageous designs that only made sense to them. Of course any museum would take you on an hour tour if you would like an explanation on this but if you looking for understanding then don't waste your time. So I digress and quiet my mind to enjoy the view. Why not indulge in an artistic impression which will not be viewed any where else in the world. Get with it George its Freedom of expression, freedom of censorship and freedom of mind. Hence we in the CMHR so I guess it all makes sense.....or does it?


Overall I found the museum lacking. I did enjoy the opportunity of putting my thoughts up on the wall as part of the museum landscape. One had two opportunities to record your thoughts and post them up as part of the museum. I embraced this with all my being and proudly said what had to be said. My wife who is my personal editor and counselor in this fine land was on hand to view and approve of them before the public was witness. I therefore ensured I did not cross the fine line in fear of censorship. My thoughts were posted as below.....
"Education is vital. Remember Africa is not a country!"
"Within a split second your mind stereotypes, Catch this before the conclusion and make it your own"

My contribution aside my favourite experience was the 360 screen playing a first nation message through various persons of different ages. A message of their culture and lifestyle which made you appreciate their being with this small introduction. It was my only emotional trip at the museum worth mentioning and exactly what the rest of the population needed.

I found the rest of the museum to be luke warm. As a South African I need to see shock and disgust to get my mind going. Putting up exhibits that are mildly interesting and not offensive should be removed. There are so many fundamental issues going on at the moment that we need current issues platformed and not government sponsored artistic messages. Think of who owns the museum and who are its biggest backers. Are there any issues not being represented here because of conflict of interest? Of course!! Its sometimes so obvious. Human Rights is on going and not a specific event in the past. Therefore the representation should be on going as well and not exclusive. These curators are in a tough spot and we demand our expectations met. I can think of many human rights addresses that are being fought right here in Canada. I would love to see these brought to our attention in the CMHR. I do fear that the Canadian psyche of self censorship will prevent it from portraying human rights abuses in the pornographically real and violent setting which is needed to evoke the emotional attention.

This is my opinion and thoughts but you go make up your own and then comment on this blog. You can join a tour by clicking on one of the links below. Enjoy the latest tourist attraction in Winnipeg.

Tour & Information
Friends of CMHR
CMHR Hours

Monday, 10 November 2014

You can Help these kids too..............

Hello all

My mom was a nurse and worked for Nazareth House in Cape Town a few times. She always had fond memories of all the kids there who were HIV positive being looked after by the nurses and nuns.

Since my moms passing I donate every month so they can continue to care for the terminally ill children and seniors whose families have abandoned them.

Even though I am in Canada I send money every month. The culture where I live now sees the entire city coming together donating heavily in support of those in needs. You cannot imagine how eager the culture is here to assist and uplift the needy. I only wish I was more responsible earlier in life especially in Cape Town.

You know that I am a serious guy and would not mess around with these big useless charities unless I did my homework. Here you have an opportunity to give straight to the heart of those who need it.

So I ask you to think about giving them a few Dollars or Rands a month by clicking on the link. One day your spouse might abandon you because you are brain damaged and they might send you to Nazareth \House where you make friends with some sick little kids who actually puts a smile on your grumpy face every now and then.

Be caring and support them. If you did nothing good today, now is your chance to give back.

Monday, 10 March 2014


I have no idea if SOTS stood for anything. All I knew was that I was one because I was a slave to the higher power.

While in Namibia I joined Centaurus High School. I thought it was a pretty fancy school till we got put in the hostel even though we lived only 10 mins from the school. Dont know if I ever asked my mother why. To make it worse my brother was in a different school because as I was in High school and he in Primary.

I must say I met the coolest guys in the world at this hostel. We got through tough times and had loads of fun doing so. Guys like Donnie, Goodwill, Azane, Cecil, & all the rest. We lived two in a room with lots of space. We learnt the hard way about structure and discipline. You cleaned  your room everyday for inspection and scheduled to clean bathroom, toilets and showers as well. We talking military precision folds in the bedding and lick off the floor cleanliness.

If any of your areas were found dirty you were penalized with points. I think it was 5 points each. These were dreaded like syphilis because you went home every Friday and returned Sunday night. If you got 15 points you could only go home Friday night and not after school. Maybe 20 points meant you went home Saturday and 25 you stayed at hostel the whole weekend. Bloody hell that was hectic. Maybe only a couple of guys did not go home weekends and the place was dead, no one wanted to stay a minute longer on weekends.

As the newbies we were called SOTS. Sots were the slaves of the matriculants or seniors students. You get assigned a senior and your life is theirs. They make you do shit like polish their shoes, do laundry, clean room and buy stuff for the dinner table. I cant remember my senior much but I didnt do much for him. Others were on hands and knees making their owners happy. I think I had a quiet Asian dude that wasn't really into the torture bit.

Some Misadventures:

One day some seniors called us into a room. So 4 of us dweebs had to stand shoulder to shoulder holding the others ears creating a link. Buddy at end had to hold onto a live wire while my other buddy at the other end had to touch a wire connected to a car battery. If I remember correctly this human link meant we shocked each other connected by the ears. Damn I should of been smarter than that!

One evening seniors at the dinner table challenged Sots to drink a whole jug of water. Only George would raise his hand and prove his metal by drinking the whole jug. Feeling very proud of myself, I became worried when he found funny tasting crystals left over in the jug. And so started my 4 hour ordeal on the toilet pot and life was never the same again. Can someone say brooklax

The school was massive with girls and boys hostels behind the school about 200 meters apart. Like true Ninja Turtles we found a network of tunnels accessed through storm drains. We did the only logical thing. Grabbed some skateboards,flash lights and crossed some metal link chains over our chests. We were gonna skate on our stomachs all the way underground to the girls hotels. Hopefully coming up in their bathroom or locker room. Down the ladder we went about 6 meters down into a large chamber. The first few guys started down the tunnel and two of us were left when we heard something above. The seniors found out about our adventure and decided to lock us down in the sewer pipes. William and I begged to be let out and I think there was some tears as well. After some time torturing us they allowed us to climb out. They made us piss into a barrell and when the others came back from the tunnels they stood in the chamber looking up shouting to be let out. And thats when the piss was thrown on them. Glad I was on the other end of that. Sorry guys, sometimes in life you have to think about self preservation.

Good O'l days....

Friday, 7 March 2014

Snow Storm to Newspaper

What happens when you put a guy from the Cape Flats in a snow storm? He lands up on the front page of the newspaper!! I always wanted to be in the newspaper and realized there is only two ways its gonna happen. I either do something really good or bad. My sister beat me by landing her picture on the front page of the Argus Newspaper as the main article for her dedication to improving the quality of life for those who are under privileged.

My best friend Worsie and I were trying to think up a plan to get our picture on the front page too. Unfortunately our youth was a calamity of misadventures and tragedy so there would be no halo for us. Would we empower ourselves to turn our lives around and make our lives a success deserving of a front page story? We could join my sister Gillian and she could guide us through the necessary spirituality and life transforming shifts in order to find ourselves and the good thats buried so deep down inside. Once we tapped into our Pure Potentiality and dropped in seeds of goodness we could take our new awakening and use it positively by helping all those around us who are not as fortunate and in South Africa there are millions. Is this our new path we pondered?

Actually we thought of driving a Mercedes Benz off the pier in the Waterfront making a big splash in the middle of the harbour surrounded by thousands of tourists. That would surely get everyone's attention and make us the most populate dudes around (don't ask)
                                                          Winnipeg Free Press article:

Winter Continues-George Engel pushes the family car which was stuck in a back alley off Grovenor Ave in River Heights Thursday morning- The Winnipeg area has seen near 8 CM of snow and could see another 7cm in the next 24 hours- Standup photo- Feb 07, 2014 (JOE BRYKSA / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS)

Not as glamorous as I hoped but its a start. Pulling out of our driveway with Elim in the back I was about to turn into the road when the car refused to move. It was so icy the wheel just kept spinning and spinning. Along comes reporter and he makes a deal. He snaps pics of my misery and hopelessness and then helps me after. Well thanks Mr Journalist your push made all the difference and we got to our appointment on time.

Sunday, 12 January 2014

My 2010 Bucket List

Bucket Lists

Found this and thought you would enjoy the read. Its vital that we put our plans on paper so that it creates a registered note to succeed and gravitate towards them. Don't know how boring or outrageous these sound but this is apparently what I came up with 3 years ago...........

  1. Cage dive with Great White Sharks
  2. Meet Justin Bieber
  3. Run a 5K
  4. Visit Colosseum in Rome, Italy
  5.  Do a cancer walk
  6. Start a Social Blog and get thousands of views
  7. Go Canoeing
  8. Go kayaking
  9. Eat paella in Spain
  10. Learn to play golf
  11. Shoot an AK47, Dirty Harry, Desert Eagle & M16.
  12. Go Ice fishing
  13. Go bowling (the big balls)
  14. Horseback riding
  15. Skiing like James Bond – well almost
  16. Go for Karate lessons
  17. Try Fencing
  18. Fluency in French  $500 – just started
  19. Fluency in German
  20. Go for guitar lessons
  21. Go to the latest pop concert
  22. Michael Buble concert- booked already
  23. Snorkel a shipwreck
  24. White water rafting
  25. Get a promotion and become highest paid in city.
  26. Hot air balloon
  27. Ski diving
  28. Bungee jumping
  29. Canopy Tree Tour in Jamaica
  30. See big five (missing leopard)
  31. Ride a giant roller coaster
  32. Visit the Egyptian Pyramids
  33. See Petra Jordan
  34. Explore Mayan Ruins Mexico
  35. Go cave diving/snorkling Mexico
  36. Walk on the Great wall of China
  37. Visit the Taj Mahal
  38. Explore the Grand Canyon
  39. Coin Collecting
  40. Watch all Academy Awards Best Pictures (46 left)
  41. Build a home for humanity
  42. Donate children books to a childrens hospital
  43. Donate monthly to a charity
  44. Explore Cango Caves Oudtshoorn
  45. Volunteer at the Red Cross
  46. Make the front page of a newspaper
  47. Go to a rodeo
  48. F1 Grand Prix $600
  49. Attend Big fight night
  50. Visit Las Vegas
  51. Run in costume/fancy dress
  52. Get involved in a protest rally
  53. Give a stranger a $100
  54. Win over $1000 in the Lotto
  55. Make Sushi at home
  56. Say “ Quick follow that car!”
  57. Plant a tree and carve your name in it
  58. Run naked down a public road
  59. Start a family tree
  60. Give blood
  61. Eat real Pizza in Italy
  62. Send a message in a bottle
  63. Pay for some ones groceries
  64. Own original art work
  65. Go on a cruise….LOL
  66. Go on a Roadtrip Across Canada
  67. Sponsor a child in South Africa
  68. Tour the Colusseum
  69. See Anne Frank's house
  70. Eat a food that I grew
  71. See Michelangelo's David
  72. Make a million Rand!!!
  73. Grow a bonsai tree
  74. Own a BMW
  75. Fall in love
  76. Run around like a gladiator in the Coliseum
  77. Buy pepper spray for the wife
  78. Get published/Write a book/Poems
  79. Go whale watching
  80. Visit Bob Marleys house in and mausoleum in Jamaica
  81. Make a music video
  82. Volunteer at a rehab centre, friends don’t count
  83. Hike the Inca trail to Macchu Picchu
  84. Teach someone to read
  85. Own a Mercedes Benz
  86. Go to Niagara Falls
  87. Visit the Leaning Tower of Pisa
  88. Fly to join a disaster relief effort
  89. Tour a WW2 Battlefield
  90. Post a video on YouTube
  91. See an active volcano
  92. Go snorkeling in the Caribbean
  93. Attend / throw costume party
  94. Give up something for a month
  95. Fly First Class over the Atlantic
  96. See a Broadway show
  97. Make loans to entrepreneurs in developing countries through
  98. Kiva Goal is $1000 through The Engel Care Initiative.
  99. Buy my wife a New SUV
  100. Buy me a Mercedes Benz 2 door sport
  101. Attend a Native American Sweat Lodge Ceremony
  102. Start a charity
  103. Donate blood
  104. Eat gelato in Florence, Italy
  105. Donate clothes to Red Cross
  106. Run a successful business
  107. Wear platform shoes and a safari suit to a rave
  108. Shave my head for cancer
  109. Donate money to cancer research
  110. Have an article/letter printed in the Newspaper
  111. Climb a large mountain- if Table Mnt counts.
  112. Stand on steps of Cannes Film Festival
  113. Learn to forgive my parents and friends
  114. Make a difference in at least one person’s life
  115. Volunteer at a homeless shelter
  116. Swim in the French Riviera